Thriving, not just Surviving, Over the Holidays

Everyone’s got their own stories, their own beefs, and their own things about holiday gatherings, many of them taking place within their own families. Tonight I did a Periscope on the very subject in relation to mental health and how to get through the holidays with as few bruises as possible, figurative that is. I know everyone and their sister has some list on this but bear with me because there may be something in here you haven’t been able to hear quite like this.

Make your Gratitude List

• This is something you should do anyway, but especially during times when you may encounter an influx of less than empathetic and compassionate people. Write down why you’re grateful and really be present to that gratitude every single day as you write the list. I suggest writing at least 3 different things but you can always write more if you’re feeling inspired.

• Gather the Troops You’ve got a support system for your business, right? And if you don’t have a business, maybe you’re an artist with a regular day job or you do some other heart-centred style of work that you don’t define as a business–this still applies. I’m serious, get that shit covered. Get yourself a friend, or 5 or as many as you think you can handle, but you want real friends here, the ones that will step up to the plate when you need an ear at 3 in the morning or even 10 minutes to vent to right after a catastrophe at Christmas dinner. Make sure they’ve got your back and make a plan B during the holidays.

• Make a Plan So this ties into the last one because you can get your friend or therapist on board with this (a friend is likely more accessible; at least my therapist isn’t accessible to me until January but hey you can also use a crisis line if worst comes to worst) and arrange a secret code (i.e. Code Noel or something equally creative) or other method that communicates “I need to talk, can you get away for 10 minutes? I can’t do this” sort of message. And honestly, if I had a friend who needed me to be this person, I would be honoured so don’t feel like you can’t ask someone.

• Practice Self-Love, Compassion & Mindfulness Empathy is the antithesis of shame, at least that’s the gist I got from Brene Brown’s TED Talk, so do something loving for yourself. If you were head over heels with someone, how would you want to pamper them when they’re not feeling their best? Would you draw them a bath with aromatic candles? Give them a hug? Write them a love note or a list of why they’re amazing to you on little post-it notes around their home or work space? Would you make them a special tea or other hot beverage with a little ‘I love you’ on the side of the cup? Would you make them a special meal or get them their favourite comfort food? Would you take them to a yoga class with you knowing that yoga always made them feel better? Now pretend that person is you. Date yourself. Dote on yourself. Make yourself feel cherished and adored and like she’s the most important person in the world, because you know what? She is. Practice compassion for what you’re going through, if you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, bipolar, or just plain old never-ending stress then guess what? You’re not at 100% capacity. Take it easy, get present, do what you can and stop berating yourself for not doing more.

Other tips and suggestions:

1. Journal

2. Write Affirmations/Love Notes

3. Call an old friend

4. Help someone else

5. Meditate

6. Exercise

7. Do the mirror exercise Louise L. Hay recommends (tell the person in the mirror how much you love them)

8. Listen to an inspiring, positive audio on youtube or a podcast

9. Watch an adorable animal video (I love cats and bunnies lol)

10. ***Get some insight! Book a Tarot Card Reading with me before Dec. 23rd for a $10 discount and a $15 discount if you send me two referrals! Flip me a message on Facebook or here.*** <3

11. Make up your own list of things that make you feel better when you’re not at your best and that is your PLAN

I hope this list helps and keep in mind that your loved ones likely aren’t trying to harm you with their words and actions; they’re looking out for number one and if you’re growing, you likely seem different than how they have known you and that can be very scary. Fears like: what if I’m losing my friend? are likely coming up for them. A friend of mine calls these people ‘shovel holders’. They’re standing next to you as you grow and change and become even more, ready to hit you over the head with a shovel so that you don’t fail and therefore get hurt, or because they’re feeling inadequate or secure in their own lives–they’re afraid you’ll outgrow them. To be perfectly honest, you may, but remember that they are growing too, they have their own paths too, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

Happy Christmas, Happy New Year & Happy Holidays my lovelies! May you have a blessed December!